Expectation: How much of it is real?

It really amazes me sometimes; I take the same path everyday to office, same number of footsteps, same traffic lights, same shops I cross-by but everyday its new thought that keeps me occupied when I take this short walk to office. This morning when I was crossing the road on my way to office, I saw a mirage on the surface of a bumpy road curvature; far ahead of my distance and that was it ….. this is what the article was waiting for to be written on I guess. ‘Expectation’

I feel expectation is like an argument, it has two sides. One is your side and the other side is reality. As human beings its natural tendency with the emotions we are wired for to expect and to be expected. Just like to love and to be loved. But the difference maker here is, ‘vision’ (Inner sense with what you see).

The argument from human being’s end is, expectation is like a mirage, you know from far it’s real, shimmering, all beautiful as it has light (hope/dreams) but when you get closer and closer to the road one gets to know that there was nothing existed before and ever was – which is reality. We have this tendency to expect things certain way, expect people to react in certain way, expect things to work in certain way it is all ‘I WANT IT THAT WAY’ (yeah remembered right song – backstreet boys – I want it that way – it’s so apt for this article :D lucky irony)

Hallucination of expectation takes over us so much that we forget the fact that we WERE NOT supposed to expect anything in REALITY. As what u want is what you expect but what you NEED is most of the times called ‘REALITY’, which is simple but disguised so beautifully (Like a mermaid) that we seldom make effort to see what is simple. Vanishes quickly and becomes a haze.

Buddha says, ‘Desire is the root cause of all miseries’. I would wish to add this piece of line to it, ‘Expectation is the 2^nd most root cause to almost all miseries’. We advocate the argument if not all the times but most of the times on our side so stereotypically by expecting things/actions of people around us in such and such certain patterns; that we blind ourselves to see what is in reality. We institutionalize ourselves. That is where the relationships come in. Give and take. How much to give and how to take.  Sometimes how much NOT to give and how much NOT to take (whether it is happiness, pain, care, open heart to know someone et al, all their relatives: D)

I call the rhythm of this argument, ‘you me’ song of dance. Every time you sing (scream) ‘YOU’ – you are expecting something you WANT. And resonating to this verse, universe/reality/world/practicality (phew so many faces of truth) sings back saying ‘ME’ – What is really NEEDED to make a move called ‘Life’.

To make peace within oneself, one has to take this risk, make a change to shift the prospect of expectations.  we are bound to take the high road and know the legitimacy of our true self, of our core nature of simple being. I wouldn’t say, don’t expect, expect but from SELF from veracity that is you that is all of us so that we will get it for sure !!!!


~Shilpa 

Let Go: What are we then?

It’s been again quite some wait to give the blog its article. I did not know myself that a routine phenomenon of changing season would make me think on this topic.

The season of beautiful colors, ‘FALL’ is on right now. One late evening when returning from a grocery shopping made me see this wonderful feature in a tree under the indistinct street light. The tree leaves had completed turned yellow and it looked so picturesque and live.

I then personified the tree to be a human.  What would be the traits that we would wanna change over and over again to become scenic or otherwise.  Or in the other way round, what the things we wanna ‘LET GO’ off like the foliages to know the strength of our roots.

As someone said, ‘it takes one to see one’. It takes effort to meet the unknown you and know what the other you is all about without inhibitions and attachments.  The way how we all are created.

How seldom we think about the let go nature of ours. What are we when we let go of few things that we always cling to: 
    - Name is the basic one - which fuels up the fire of egocentricity more and more when not channelized as light.
   -  Hegemony of things around us – for once we make peace and forgive that person or forgive the moment, we liberate not only the other from the vicious circle that runs unknowingly in each other’s minds. Moreover, we liberate ourselves from been involved further more. 
   - Dissoluteness - Part of us is just not us but others always.

I wonder, what are we when we let go of all these things? When all the leaves are withered off like a barren tree (No name, fame money, honey and what not). The remains of branches and twigs reminding what we harbored to be something magical are no more for sometime. Blank blank …. And many a times blink blink not knowing what we would be. But the roots to bring all this back are still intact. Roots of our serenity to connect to the self.

1^st thought that came into my mind when we let go most of the things was, ‘PARTICLE’. When we liberate ourselves from all the things that we are associated with and emotions that cling to the acts of doing more of it. We become one among the bigger picture called ‘Particle of consciousnesses’.

I read this quote as a daily inspiration: “of what is the body made? It is made of emptiness and rhythm. At the ultimate heart of the body, at the heart of the world, there is no solidity... There is only the dance.” 

Emptiness of the known and unknown attachments. Rhythm of known and unknown detachments. Finally, at the end when salvation kisses your forehead, the ecstasy of been liberated is to know there is no solidity of things we cling to but the will of void to let go!!!!

~Shilpa 

sanely insane: what is really a sober state?

It’s not a usual question that someone asks you in the morning when you start off your day at work: ‘what do you think of life at this point?’ And when this question was asked to me one day, it made me put my thinking hat on and kinda contemplate what I feel about life this day?

And quickly I tried to recollect, if any of the experiences in this month could give me a clue to answer this question. And I was simply surprised when the usual walk back home after work could do this job.

The air conditioning in my office is so really wonderful that it allows my jacket/cardigans/sweat shirts to flaunt their beauty even during peak summer. And when I take my walk back to home, the moment I come out of the building it is then I realize that the weather outside is really not the rostrum for jackets LOL

But the day when this question was asked to me, the sudden effect of having the realization of NOW that is it hot outside I just need to act sanely and help myself get some cool breeze was the trigger to brood over so many different patterns of other questions. That is when I thought it’s time that my blog gets a feast of delicious food to enjoy after really long time. A ‘thought’ to ‘think’ upon in higher perspective (considering all the dimensions) – SANITY or INSANITY, which the state of mind we really are in?  

The insane/ulterior acts like: Greediness, cruelty, dictatorial, manipulative trait etc., are not something that happens by chance but by choice. Sometimes these activities of thinking is so much disguised in getting/planning things brilliantly for wrong motives that we give it the name as necessity when one steps upon somebody else’s chance of getting the same opportunity, domineer just because you want something that the other person isn’t supportive off, make things obscure for others because oneself isn’t clear about what he/she wants in life etc.,

When one reaches a junction in life wherein all the time in the world you have is just to reflect upon the days a human being has spent in trying to search the purpose of one’s life, I feel there is a very thin line between state of mind responsible for taking sane and insane decisions. We do things in a way which resembles like a sanity check to get insanity as the by product. I wonder why the homosapiens have countenance like this.  If we are wired to do things like these then a question keeps puzzling me: what is really a sober state after all?’

When I tried to search answer to this question I just happen to look at my watch and remembered that it’s time for me to leave office. It is then I got the answer when I exited the doors to take off the jacket as a protective shield from artificial cool air circulation. When I personified this jacket as a shield (necessity, desire, fantasy etc.,) that we all wear assuming we are doing sane things to gift each other insanity at the end.

The saying, ‘Time is a big healer’ is very true as it gives us the chance to experience ‘NOW’ every day. I believe, the natural instincts of the heart to make the decision which gets manifested as harmony within oneself and around is something that is considered SOBER wherein the actions taken by this state of mind has the beauty to get attracted to similar consequences as we go forward and it is then that insanity is consciously cured of it’s inherent malevolence nature in order to get mirrored as sanity. But one has to be always cautious that it’s the silver sheet(realization) which adds the mirroring nature to a glass(life) and the silver sheet gets manufactured by what I term the process as ‘THE NOW EFFECT’ which allows anyone to see the beauty of sanity in themselves.

And in this attempt I also felt that, we may or may not witness the true godly nature in us to do something sane all the time but we are always provided a chance to get connected to the source we come from. 

~Shilpa 

Camaraderie with Clandestine Consign

In the hush and bush of this fast paced demanding world have we once stopped by not to rush? And slowly notice that we all have a secret garden in us where we take a stroll whenever the demand arises. To be a person no one has seen you as, to be a being no one has ever thought you would be and you don’t have to be answerable for being just you? 

It surprises me sometimes, when I think of the days where, everyone as a child surely would have had a secret place. Maybe as one’s book shelf, study table, mother’s purse, last pages of the work book, beneath the cot, amidst the toy bag, near the hinges of the doors, small corner in the garage, school bag, friend’s lunch bag etc., where all the little secrets were preserved and the places would be ‘Xtra Care Zone’ and oneself being the security guard to always be sure that your things are safe and sound wherever they are.

How quick can these little safe zones metaphor into real places, people, books, relationships and many more we get connected through in the journey of life. Where we considered that our little secrets would last forever as they did during childhood turns out to be something mysterious for us to figure out now as grown-ups.

There is always a place(maybe not be a physical space only) wherein you go with child like joy, radiance beaming in your eyes, enthusiasm as your footsteps,  laughter as food, curiosity as hunger and unconditional love as the take-away.

And when I thought about the places I meant places in real, suddenly I was in surprised state. A clandestine place can be someone you confide truly, some place wherein you dance to the joy for just being present there for a moment, a page in a book you read over and over again, a doodle on a paper which has your own unique language, a infinite symphony of the songs you love the most, a conversation you always wanted to have with your beloveds, etc.,

This secret garden person is what I call ‘The True U’ where one responds/reacts which natural instincts to emotions within and around. Unbiased by neural calculations, untouched by predefined conditioning and as fresh as morning dew.   I cannot see a reason why wouldn’t one not get surprised when he/she encounter’s a new being in them for just a short while. And potential happiness gathered in this congregate matches nothing that can be called measurable and countable for few moments until if not’s, what if’s? When would? Will it? all the permutation and combination of 6 W’s and 2 H’s pop-in as invisible cuffs to prison oneself as stereotypical body with muscles and no senses. With no senses I meant the basic instincts what each cell are born with peace, love, light, harmony and oneness. How magical can be this realm of reality called earth that we forget the true cell structure which is universal in all forms of living.

On and off we give this visage of ours many different secretive forms soulmate, friends, hobbies, book, songs, silence etc., which end up being cluster of clandestine places where everyone visits in this world just to experience true forms of one’s own seam. 

~Shilpa 

Echelon of solace

When returning from work this evening drenched from the drizzle of H2O, sporadic gush of thoughts stroke the skin of my heart to leave me with void sensation to ponder upon – ‘Echelon of Solace’

How often have we questioned ourselves why people touch our lives the way they do? In prudent act to find an answer to this question, I realized there is just not 1 being involved in this act but different layers of one’s consciousness dancing to the rhythm of silent beats of our emotions subconsciously.

The seven different layers of aura: Etheric body(red), emotional body(orange), mental body(yellow), Astral body(green), causal body(blue), supra causal body(indigo) and transcendental body(violet) along with the 7 chakras will enable one to become more attuned to the corresponding vibration which resonates in the same dimension of vibratory rates.

Then I realized, not all of them whom we witness in our due course of life touch 1 or more and sometimes none of the layers of our evolution as a socialized and sometimes civilized mammals. Many of them may just slew through our etheric body (sometimes being the source of disturbance too like dark patches in our energy levels) but very few will take the adventurous path leading to the doors of light. Who will be our fellow travelers camouflaged in the earthly maze as our parents, siblings, hand few of trusted friends, a companion for life, children and any relationship which cannot be caged with the pre-defined rules of the physical world we all live in.

The fortitude of this mysterious convene leads us to learn and unlearn many pre-conditioned thoughts. Like parenting is not always what our parents are entrusted for lifetime but there comes are phase in life where children too have to parent their parents as the inner child in them needs this attention in the form it deserves. Likewise is the diversion in many other relationships we end up in.

Many a times in the search of someone or many ones, Who makes you feel the way that they make you feel, Who loves you and knows you the way they do, Who touches you and holds you quite like they do they transcend beyond the causal body to become your cosmic legion and help you climb the ladder of betterment and indefinable happiness without being judgmental of whoever you are. These are the souls with whom we embark the journey as transcendental bodies to a realm - a realm that has its own characteristic vibration and unique nature.

The relationships which touch this mode are energetic mirror of each other which acts as spark of oneness and gives you the feel of home. Orchestrated with all the silent music we play in others lives and similarly others playing in our lives we end up being a melody or a noise with power of ripple effect.

What is the echelon of solace one craves in life you never know until you really encounter one. So touch the layer of someone’s being where you find the right rhythm to dance and perfect color to paint to your life with even if it is etheric in nature it has the power of ripple effect. 

~Shilpa 

Looks of love: A reason or for a season?

When I was actually wondering, what will be my next post all about. Nothing to be surprised off, I didn’t actually have a thought or two to write on in my mind. But after a couple of days this bubble of question sprang from the ocean of my heart asking me: ‘What are the Looks of love; and if there are then is it a reason or for a season?’

I was baffled the way how sometimes heart role plays the mind. In an attempt to know what dimension of ones being can this question be answered, I thought why not ask few fellow beings about what they think ‘Love in their life is’ and:

For a 33 year young man, who has comfortably carved his life so far with education of interest, job of passion and life of freedom when asked to describe what dimension of love have you been in? pause pause pause pause …… blink blink …Hmmm Hmmm…. Well this was not the answer but the silence metaphoric into a long wait in the air  and here comes the answer (finally)  ‘I have not yet experienced anything as such, so probably there is much to explore and have fun in the relationships. I guess I may not need anything as serious as love in fact’. And I heard it as ‘PLEASURE GRAPPLE’ is the look of love for this man but is it for a reason or for a season? Is the call to be answered?

For a 47 year young woman, when I asked the same question, her eyes rolled the silver lining of the clouds and a ‘huh’ as a conclusion of the flash back she would have played in her mind of her life made me even more eager to know what was the answer and she said ‘SECURITY - what more can you ask for in this unpredictable life, true love may not really happen, love can wait I guess’ and there I was controlling my expression of not wanting my jaws to drop and make the environment anything more confusing than the answer. And there the answer was “SECURITY – a look of love’

And when asked for a mid 60’s well travelled gentleman, his answer to this question was ‘It’s all about sharing common aspects we have in life’ So there my heart was tugging a string to have harmony with the question, ‘Where the differences should dig their grave as all the common aspects shared will try to attain nirvana with a companion’ and after a orchestra of all long notes; many major and minor notes, virtually visualized by the heart which was playing the role of mind now gave the answer that is ought to be given … 'truth' … and i.e., one needs to have so called ‘ISOLATED PLEASURE ZONE’ which is u, which gives u the reason to be a cave person to invent and re-invent a new or old u to wear a make-up of all the characterized looks of love with the sunscreen as security, tinted moisturizer as diplomacy/sweet nothings, cover-up stick as job, a compact powder as external u, to sometimes blur the vision of relationships, the kohl as fantasies and not to forget the mascara as expectations (which extends once far-sightedness) and lipstick as adventurous colors that words spoken and unspoken will paint ur life with. 

After all the make-up that one wears as looks of love, at the end of  the day one has to look into the mirror to have a clean skin which I connect as a clean soul to know that fantasies have left a mark and you need wet tissues to wipe them off, a tan because sunscreen as security didn’t really give the expected SPF protection which can be cleaned by time to pass-by, mascara as expectations ripped off few lashes in war between degree of achievement and ability to give/take, sweat (juggling between work-life and personal-life conditions) absorbed the external u but sweet nothings helped to give a hook to hang-in there to know that, at some point of time in life all this fashion of love needs a break to play the game clean of ‘SEE-SAW’ wherein to 'see' a person as he/she is and u r seen back as a real u and just u in acknowledgment as “SAW’. The ack maybe in the form of a smile, a pat, a humble kiss on forehead or a mischievous wink. 
Perhaps in the game of SEE-SAW there is a balance of how much is seen and how much is not in each other’s span as togetherness for just one life.

So wear the best make-up to have the right look of love(security, compassion, humbleness, fun, sharing, eternity, soulmates etc.,) because you will be on a road of high and low curves to play the “SEE-SAW’ in the air of lively life whether it’s for a reason or for a season remains a mystery!!!!!

~Shilpa  

Delta Living – Life unravels in Versions?

In the delineated lives of construct that we all have set in motion, an idea to ponder upon struck me this morning when I actually thought of the software tool that we use at work which has this amazing feature called ‘Resynchronize’, wherein the differences (Delta) from the previous version to the current version can be resynchronized to get the latest changes.

In arbitration of this feature, I wondered whether our lives reveals in itself as a ‘Delta Change’?  Are we delta living? In consensus to these questions there is one gap which needs to be filled and that is ‘Resynchronize’ feature wherein the changes in past can be synchronized to the present to savor the future. So this is the mathematical form of incorporating the changes and abide to “An interval of possible values (A sane thing one can do at that given point of time) for a given quantity (For the change infused in life) for instance across a sample (Sample being the Homo sapiens themselves)”

The chemistry involved in it is even more worth looking into, wherein analogy process would be “Neutralization. In chemistry, neutralization is a chemical reaction whereby an acid and a base react to form water and a salt. All the so called ‘Acidic Feelings’ like anger, fantasies, betrayal, infidelity, whining etc., react with (I consider only 1 major base) i.e., REALITY infuses calmness (Water) and spices up the life in its own way to render the change merge or purge in deep abyss of our memories.

And I think it’s true that life unravels in different versions for different people which can take its own pace to appear as a Delta which calls for the click of the option ‘Resynchronize’. 

~Shilpa 

Cultured Hypocrite - Where is the Space for True Love?

“I may not become a rich guy or maybe a well learned personality but I am a better cultured man” this was the line which triggered series of my thought process for the day by one of computer service provider at work this morning.

And I would call a contradictory personality of what my dear friend mentioned above as someone who is ‘Cultured hypocrite’ who seems to have all the riches in the world and so called a “well learned” person but culturally a ‘Con Artist’. In exalt of modernism, sovereignty can take many possible ways like money, fame, search for individuality, etc. The list can go on so where is the space for true love then?

For a while, my thoughts creep into a dark zone of this thinking process wondering whether search for true love in one’s lifetime would ever come to an end!!! And the instantaneous answer my neurons gave was “NO”. I was amazed with the speed with which the brain cells could process such a huge question in such a short span J and throw the answer right to my conscious state that the answer is “NO”!!!

So when I started travelling with the quick fix answer given by the neurons eventually I felt that it might be true because a person under goes tremendous change in herself/himself over a life time (spanning anywhere before birth and after death too) and it is very important not to fall in love completely with the former because change is constant and you will soon have to take the road of falling in love with a new self once the change has played its magic in your life AGAIN!!!

With this reasoning given by my heart to the neuron quiz answer I was so much astonished to know the importance of falling/rising in love with someone whom we all await should enter our life i.e., a companion for life time. The dreams and intentions that we place as a request in this cosmos for that special one in our life seems to take many mysterious moments wherein encountering a wrong or maybe I would say a ‘Learning Relationship’ helps one to know that the worth of the right one in this quest. On the lighter note I call this as ‘Welcome to the world of Cultured Hypocrite’!!!

A so called ‘Polished Being’ who makes all the ideal promises like ‘you were the one whom I always wanted’ (As if nothing else in this whole world this being ever wanted in life), ‘you are the one who makes my heart beat’ (As if the heart wasn’t beating before, I wonder how blood circulation happened all this time thenJ), ‘I want our children to know how we both met on a beautiful sunny/winter day/night (Oh our children will just be waiting for this D-day in their life to know how they came into this worldJ) blah blah blah … and boom there is no sign of one more meet again EVER after all these ideal promises made for not just few days to come ahead but for LIFETIME (For heaven sake I really wonder how a road map of bed of roses can one picture when making such dreamy promises and never gets back to it as if nothing ever happened in past!!! )

Then comes the end of this weary moment wherein like ‘The moral of the story is’ kinds J a message is given that we are so much hypnotized in this urbane living that behind the mask to ‘Cultured Hypocrite’ which most of us wear in one form or the other in the society we live there is always a part in us no matter what beliefs we hold, which region of this world we come from, irrespective of the thoughts inculcated by our education and myths introduced my our subcritical conditioning of early bringing up we all crave for true love one way or the other. Maybe in the form of companion, friends, sisters, brothers, parents, strangers etc., any form of relationship that a human being can create when he/she is in the form of the brittle mantle called ‘Body’.

The experience that our souls carry in the journey of all the wrong relationships we get into will still have a secret message to be conveyed even beyond the space and time when our particle nature of the body blends with particles of the soil.

~Shilpa